the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
