i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
