is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
