I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
