he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
