I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
