last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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