your thong is hanging out like whoa
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
im calling her cock vulture from now on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize