hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
