Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
