I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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