found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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