Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
