why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
