He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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