I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
