I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
