Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize