but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
