forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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