neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
