YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
