My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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