I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
