every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
