But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I wish there were birth control emojis
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
