You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize