He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
