Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
