Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
