I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
