i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
