Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
