Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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