508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
