yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize