I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
