this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
