Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
