Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
