So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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