omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize