I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
