Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
