Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize