drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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