I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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