She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
