he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was confusing and full of hummus
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
