btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
