i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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