Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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