K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
