dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
