Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
