how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
