He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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