It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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