How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
