I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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