Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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